Thursday, 24 November 2011

Things We learnt from #slapgate

This is a rather hastily put together post, things we inferred when Harvinder Singh palms kissed the the rather swollen cheeks of swindle master,Sharad Pawar.

1.)You know when many of us feel irritated with a news channel keeps playing the same clip in loop over and over again.
Somehow the slap on Pawar's face gets sweeter and better every time it lands.I'm never getting old of seeing this clip.
2.)Its also interesting to see how Politicians close their ranks when one of their own is attacked.Everyone condemned the act of violence rather conveniently ignoring the suffocating living conditions that led to it.
3.)Such a small knife would be ineffective against Pawar.
4.)I guess I'm never going to grow tired of saying this-The media is run by a bunch of buffoons.One reporter blurts out that the man could be arrested under the Arms Act for carrying a knife.For the uninitiated, the Kirpan is a legal ornament of the Sikh.
And one enterprising crook was encouraging the idea of more security for politicians.
5.)In response to Pawar's stone faced and rather indifferent reaction,shoe companies have announced their intent to test for the durability of products by having a fling at his face.
6.)The proud Sikh unfortunately will now face the brunt of the politic-judicial cartel in this country.
7.)(From twitter)TOI says Pawar was ASSAULTED .. bhenchod if one little slap is an 'assault' then what is TOI's term for gaand pe laath?
8.)Finally Pranab Mukherjee admits 'I don't know where this country is going'.Thank you, Harinder.
9.)(From twitter)We condemn the faced at hands of Harvinder Singh . Just as Chiddu condemned the recent Mumbai and Delhi blasts

10.)And take a moment to pay homage to man who set the trend and redefined a democratic means of protest against a fascist state.

11.)As for harvinder's hatrick,i think he should go after Chidu's luingi.
12.)This was quick

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Journalism at its lowest ebb

OK I'll at admit it at the onset.I underwent tremendous dilly dallying before i poured this out.I could not stand the humiliation of acknowledging in  public that i spent a whole five minutes of my life watching street whore Barkha Dutt's 'The buck stops here' after the veil over her so called non-partisan journalism had been swept aside by Radia Tapes.
But i did learn a thing or two, or to be true actually reinforced an opinion .The buck starts here.I happened to catch the interview with Pervez Mushraff, another notorious 'I'm up for sale' fella.And it did not reflect the media in good light.
 Justice Katju, the recently appointed Chairman of the Press Council of India recently labelled the Indian media a of low intellectual level and how Barkha Dutt epitomises that.She has come to redefine the nadir of a career. Her credentials have already been found wanting at Kargil and 26/11-in both situations she put the country's national security at risk by revealing the locations of strategically placed snipers-LIVE on national television.
The interview is going along smoothly-so boring that i would rather watch grass grow-until you are jolted out of your mild slumber by a sequence of events following one of the many wild allegation from Barkha which were laced throughout the show.She accuses him of having made a statement to the regard that Pakistan should continue funding the Haqqani network( a terror module for the uninitiated) as a strategic asset.Mushraff is prompt with his denial.Off course he's denying,he's stonewalling-you think.But what follows shocks to no end.Instead of vehemently defending her claim and sending Mushraff to the guillotine,she without battling an eyelid shifts  her goalpost ,tones down the question and drifts him towards Pakistan's strategy towards the Haqqani network.Mushraff still astounded by the wild remark,stays in denial mode for the next few questions before he regains his composure.
And then it finally dawns upon you, what just transpired.That Barkha's whole statement was a sham.Mushraff never ever uttered those words , it was just the handiwork of some creative student whose just been introduced to the word 'manipulation'.And how rather nonchalantly barkha managed to tug it under the carpet.The fact that she even failed to make a weak attempt to defend her remarks displays her complicity in the mischief.Any self respecting person would have stormed out of the interview, you'd think, but then such people are generally not found in the same room as Barkha..

The transcript:

Barkha:One of the big areas of friction between the United States and Pakistan is the Haqqani network and mike mullen(US

chief of staffs) has described it as literally one wing of the ISI.Now you have said that while you do not agree with this

assessment,you also believe that Pakistan has reasons to continue its support-strategic reasons- to continue its support

to the haqqani network.General Mushraff don't yo think this is a virtual justification for supporting a known terror group?
mushraff:(A bit confused)  No,No i have never said this,uh.
B:(Immediately without any sort of resistance)Well how do you believe Pakistan should handle the haqqani network?
M:Well i have never said that this is a reason to keep supporting....(Still trying to make sense of Barkha's allegation)
B:(refusing to allow mushraff to complete his statement)Do you accept that there is support to the haqqani network?
M:no,no i never...
B:Do Do you accept that there is enough action against it??
M:No No they have not taken enough action against them...........(settles into a  soliloquy)
B:So how do you believe Pakistan deal with the haqqani network??
M:Yes,Yes...(looking a bit more composed)............

And to double check it , jump to 26:28.

While some may choose to classify this post as pedantic ,i strongly believe this is an accurate representation of the wider problems plaguing the media as an entity.There is need for some serious introspection and to weed out the unsocial,unethical and PR agents masqueraded as journalist people.Such kind of atrocious interviewing should be met by a defamation lawsuit in court.Its one things to put words in someones mouth but its totally unacceptable to whip up a controversial quote from thin air.
Let journalism be based on facts and creativity be the domain of fiction writers.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Out of Depth

Many people here have taken a very simplistic view of international diplomacy failing to recognise the underlying tensions and grasp the context and the modus operandi of the protagonists.Manmohan Singh, i and millions other suspect, is trying to leave back a political legacy or bowing to the communal forces at play in India.We need to recognise that we are dealing with the De facto heads of Pakistan-the civilian democracy- while the real power lies in the custody of the notorious ISI and its big brother-the army.So getting assurances from a rubber stamp are bloody useless.
The Pakistan army at the end of the day still believes it is its manifest destiny to form a Noe mughal empire with Islamabad as its capital and India as its vassal states.But India's hapless leader's have been equally responsible for perpetrating the crisis.Their reply to 26/11 was dossier bombing.
We had developed substantial international pressure, especially in the western world (which control the UN,WTO and other such crony groups) and had isolated Pakistan.When it the time came to deliver the knock out punch we were found wanting in every aspect-from our shoddy investigations to playing vote bank politics.
I am not a hardliner and have an immediate preference to liberal means to resolve such disputes but history is not just meant to fill up the old dust cupboards lined with cobwebs.There is a lot to be learned and inferred from it.Unfortunately over the years India have learnt it the hard way.
Peace will exist only when we have democratically elected govt. in Pakistan which wields complete power rather than the puppets which work at the behest of the ministry.Till then , i suspect, opening up diplomatic channels would be delusional.
Repeated bullshit is not wisdom.

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Shareholders Make Merry

The coupon says I get a snack and a hot beverage. I want a cold drink,” yelled a shareholder of Tata Steel.

Here is a list of questions that were directed at the Tata Steel management on Wednesday.
Why do you have the AGM during the monsoon period?
Tata: Not possible.
Why don’t you use recycled paper?
Tata: It is already being used.
Will you be discontinuing paper-based annual reports, and what is the cost of distribution?
Tata: Both options are available and the cost is Rs 24 per copy.
Why don’t you provide binoculars or glasses with your annual report?
Tata laughs and suggests this question be asked in the AGM of Titan Industries.
Why don’t the board members and other senior people hold shares in the company?
Tata: We had problems in the past and hence, this is not encouraged and we are cautious due to insider trading regulations.
Who pays for the AGM meet?
Tata: Shareholders pay for the expenses.
When will you appoint your successor? Who is it going to be?
Tata: We are looking into it.
Can we go for a plant visit?
Tata: There are safety issues and not possible.


There's this great anecdote of how a particular women, i must refrain from naming, buys a single share in some random companies, medium size and then screws them .
                      So for example lets say she's at ABC company's AGM.Now out of nowhere she stands up and says that either she wants to move some resolution or make a speech.Now moving of a resolution can be done by show of hands or an actual ballot .With a ballot, its the added trouble of getting the ballot paper,boxes and booth's ready.Plus there is still tally of the votes to be done.
                      Now in both situations,either the speech or a vote, consumption of time is on the higher side.So the AGM stretches beyond the planned time leading to the  company having to arrange for further stay-so hire the conference hall for the time consuming activities.Then make further arrangements for snacks and beverages for the irksome shareholders.
                      This leads  to a considerable cost for the company and more than the cost its the hassle which comes with such bastards. Shareholders are quick to make merry of the situation making ridiculous demands and wringing the company until the last drop.
                      So to avoid the mess , the companies usually resort to paying off this woman rather than to fall into her web of frivolous activities.        
Huge companies,though, don't take this bulls@#$.Through extra constitutional means ( read misusing the police, roughing up people or simply making an anonymous tip to the income tax department) make life hell for such people.Thus generally the woman avoids such companies.

P.S:The woman comes in a three wheeler but bills it at the same level as hiring a luxury car.

Sunday, 31 July 2011

Penny wise,Pound foolish

The phrase could be apt for the buffoons running the country/congress.About a couple of months ago there was a bit of chatter on how Mrs. Meera Shankar, India's envoy to the US, during a summit had referred to Sonia Gandhi as a catholic.Mrs.Gandhi 's religion has been the subject of deep speculation.Though she herself refrains from making statements on the subject, babble emerging from her party calls her a Hindu.
The aforementioned article read:
  Just how sensitive an issue it is was revealed last month when the official representative of the UPA Government in Washington, Ambassador Meera Shankar, delivered a speech at a US university referring to Sonia Gandhi being a Christian as a testament to India’s pluralism and diversity. However, that reference was later quickly deleted.

So  i found it highly amusing to find the same references being made in the akshay kumar movie Nameste London .A paraphrase of his words would read-
India is a country where a Catholic woman stepped aside so that a Sikh could ascend to the post of the prime minister's country.

Now putting aside all those lovely disclaimers which appear before the movie, i would imagine this hypothetical situation aping reality would irk more than a refernce on the MEA's website, which people rarely bother to visit.
Especially in India, where there is no better propaganda vehicle in India.

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Glamour is a magnet

Glamour.The one magnet which attracts one and all.One which possesses the ability to asphyxiate your brain.Its almost synonymous to putting blinkers onto horse.Though it is a deeply mystifying situation, it isn't a new phenomena.You witness it in all walks of life.From the inherent racism we as Indians display towards our countrymen at the scent of a foreigner to even the minute matter of being one of the many to buy an iPhone (just coz it's cool).
                  So why all this babble?Well, recently the new Pakistani foreign minister Mrs.Hina Rabbani Khar took the pains to visit India for another round of 'Lie To Me' with her Indian counterpart.As expected the media when overboard,twitter was busy discussing her handbags and comparing her looks with that of the duchess of Cambridge( another prime example of Indians getting blind sighted by glamour) and news anchors couldn't help but use the potent but cliched 'beauty with brains'.Now there is nothing wrong in taking such a deep interest in our relations with our friend/foe neighbour Pakistan.  
                  But a there's a certain extract in a Times of India article which could give us far more insight on Pakistan's latest and probably the most cunning crook.
She apparently loves her Birkins, which can cost as much as $100,000. Hina belongs to one of Pakistan's landed elite, is enormously wealthy, and owns Polo Lounge, an upscale restaurant in Lahore. In 2010, though, she - along with 25 other ministers of Yousaf Gilani's cabinet - didn't pay income tax. Over the past few years, she has paid agriculture tax of (Pakistani) Rs 7,500 but nothing under the head of income tax.      
                But why bother to read the complete article when the first paragraph gives a rosy picture.Here is a woman who is probably among the most wealthiest in Pakistan but hasn't paid tax since years.She pays a pittance in the name of agricultural tax.And this is the same woman we hope will help and participate in the eradication of terror from South Asia.Same one, we  hope will act on the evidence from the countless terrorist activity the notorious ISI has perpetrated in India.
               The point is that the veil of glamour is opaque .We never manage to see beyond that.Style quotient has become the substitute for lack of character.Glamour is such a powerful drug that it manages to even negate the obvious anti-Pakistan bias which exists in a major portion of the media and a part of the Indian population.
              The way we are going we might end up being a PR representative's dream audience.If people after being made aware of her unique achievements still wish to fawn over her then that's a personal choice.But i wouldn't hold my breath.

UPDATE: There's a nice article up over at first post titled

Hina Rabbani’s face may be new, but her lies are old'